I try to start my mornings off with a quote to guide my day, a  little something to help me maintain a positive focus for the day. Today I woke up in a self-reflective mood, however; which put me in a John Mayer “Why Georgia” mind set. I migrate towards his music when I have something on my mind.

As an author, I can acutely convey a wide range of emotions suitable for any given character at any time.  Yet, when it comes to me deciphering and voicing  personal thoughts of my own, I struggle.  That said, here’s what’s floating around in my mind right now.  There’s no rhyme or reason to it, no real organization.  Not sure what I make of it at this point, or what I’ll use it for.  But  for now it simply is what it is– a thought cloud:

I’m in a mood today
Neither good nor bad, somewhere in between
… more reflective than anything
Not sure I like it, but I realize it’s necessary

I’ve got to face my faults, shortcomings, fears…
My pains and downfalls—failed plans, disappointments
I’m not perfect by a long shot
Never have been, and quite sure I never will

My lack of personal perfection will not stop my strides towards a better me
It can’t.  I won’t let it.
I’ve got dreams, goals, and aspirations
Wants, desires, and wishes

I’m moving on, and will keep moving
Towards my peace
Towards my sun
Towards my happiness

I’m going to have down days, I’m going to have up days
I’m going to have middle of the road days
That’s part of the process
It’s part of the journey

Self. Discovery.

I’m not perfect and never will be
Doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the best
That I don’t deserve to be happy, to see my dreams realized
I know what I want, I know what I need

And no one’s actions—or lack there of— will deter me from my plan
Or make me question my self worth
I don’t like games
I have no time for cowardice

This is very raw, and I don’t share anything that’s not been through at least a couple rounds of polishing (just ask my cp’s), but what the hell.  You can only judge me negatively for it, and I think I made it clear that I’m no longer paying attention to the negativity.  To quote John, “I got dreams to remember” and random hate has no place in my dreams.