Pent up  [pent uhp]- adjective–  confined; restrained; not vented or expressed; curbed 
    ~www.Dictionary.com 

This described me perfectly yesterday.  I had so many feelings, thoughts & ideas floating around that it became an impediment to my creative processing; a chokehold on my ability to release words.  I mean, I actually could not express myself, and this just doesn’t happen to me. Any one that knows me knows I rarely have trouble communicating. 🙂

Most time (well nearly all the time if I’m being honest) if I’m not getting words down on the page, it’s because I’ve distracted myself with other activities. It’s never because the words are there and I just can’t get them out. Even if I have to go back and pretty them them up later, I can usually get them out. So to say I was frustrated is an understatement.

I’m guessing angst about my current wip combined with the energy from “the real world” made it difficult to clear the jumble from my mind.  I was like I had a bee tornado twisting around in my head and I just couldn’t hear over the buzz.

I’m up against a firm deadline for this novel, it has to be submitted at the end of March to my mentor for critiquing. I had to get some words on the page. Knowing only that doing nothing wasn’t an option, I gave myself over to the buzz and just wrote.  

I wrote whatever came out, however it came out. No matter how raw it felt.

I ended up with a rather surpriseing collection of prose that I’ve turned into a new bit of poetry. I shared it with my CP to see if it caputured the passion I was aiming for, she readily agreed it did.

And just like that the buzz was silenced, but the creative energy remained. I ended the day with 2 scenes done, another nearly done, and a good idea of what’s to come in the new few chapters.

WOOT!

Note to self: Don’t always be so quick to turn off or fight what you’re currently feeling, good or bad.  By embracing emotions at the time you’re feeling them the sharpest, you’ll be able to channel a keener sense of the said emotion/mood at a deeper POV. Even if you don’t need it now, it may come in handy later with another wip.